A season in purgatory… 08/08/08
“Essays” on you.
i spent my morning washing my face…
Washing my face with tears,
an endless deluge to tears…
And now i sit here all cried out (for the moment),
waiting patiently for the (rain).
in a box on my desk lies my heart:
your key, our key.
my ring, your ring.
in tissue paper on a faux suede red paper, in a black box with a cool gold design and Korean words with lot numbers on the side.
i sent a text to you, just now…
“No matter how bad your day, a belly rub makes it better.”
i could use a belly rub about now.
i am going through the motions of my day now…
living on the remains of our conversations, you voice on the other side of the line.
waiting between the moments of silence for my heart to beat again.
r u afraid of me?
right now, r u afraid 2 b with me?
right here, r u afraid 2 b u incase u hurts me more,
r u afraid to be u because u love me and that u scares u?
i am not afraid of u… whatever u means, or u r, or u could be or do.
i am not afraid of u, because i love you, and love and fear cannot coexist to(get)her.
the only thing i fear is no u with me, and no me with u, and no us together, and u and me apart.
as you can no doubt see – i am using my time WHIZ-E-LY. roger always told me to be WHIZ-E, and pursue WHIZ-DUMB!
in my pursuit of this i pursued u.